Sick and Tired Of Being the "Wise One"

What good is being good?

Telling people what they should,

Being the best in knowing intricacies,

When I tremble from my heart to extremities!

Helping many out of so fucked up a situation,

All but myself because of desperation,

To stay good or give in to the temptation...

Man! I need a vacation! :)

Wherever I turn, people are happy thanks to me!

Is it wrong to be enraged by this joy I see?

All have gotten what they want,

But thats something, at this time, I can't!

Talking like I'd talk,

Walking like I'd walk,

Doing as I'd do,

following my principles of woo...

All these carbon copies,

Parading proudly with their trophies,

Even the replicas all so cheap!

While all i have left are pieces to sweep!

Whats the point when even your own ex...

Asks you "What should I do next?"

The gift of mine is really a curse,

I don't thing I could have it any worse!

This isn't whining believe me you,

What am I saying? I have no clue!

Well isn't it par for the course?

At least for this blog hehe of course!!!

Just the Memories!!!

It’s been years haven’t it?

I still ain't able to quit.

The one day I can’t let go

Keeps filling my f'n heart with woe!

Hoping to turn back the clock

Maybe I should have given her door a knock

Going down memory lane...

Don’t know what! Maybe am insane!

The look on her face still fresh,

The memories green n lush.

Innocence was still there…

As we lay our hearts out bare!

Time has flown by now, left me baffled,

But I can’t stop thinking of how she had me dazzled!

And how I let it all go in a sec,

N now on her radar I’m a speck.

My names become a story, daresay a legend

But I don’t like something about that story "the end"

Still remember the cold days, the cross,

Still remember walking there with her across!

Still remember the hour long pep talk,

Just to give me the courage to talk!

Sounds like a story, a movie maybe…

Wish not! If things could just be!

Remember the hours I watched her like a stalker,

And just didn’t have the courage to talk to her.

And then that day she finally said “Yes”

The ecstasy, the thrill, no more distress!

The few months, the kiss, the held hands,

Seem now to be spun from potter’s wand!

Because it all seems so surreal, a kind of haze,

But no matter what, I still treasure those days!

She’s the reason I fell in love with black,

She looked beautiful in it, for it she had a knack!

Every time I saw her laugh, every time we had a meet,

My frikkin heart would miss a beat!

Oh well now it’s just a well kept secret

In ma fucked up like another regret

Her life’s well, in stone its set

The memories are there for me to fret

The memories are all I have left,

She’s gone, ill call it a theft!

But it’s only I that I can blame,

Maybe I was too young for this game!

Hers another poem that I bleed,

Like all the others she could never read!

Though for her, like crazy I crave

She’s just a memory ill carry to ma grave!

JUZ IMAGINATION!*

*All that follows is fiction, any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental! ;-)

Have been so guarded not to let anyone in

I have no idea how she managed to win

In ma book to let someone in's a sin,

It feels kinda right that ma hearts on a pin...

It feels like alls fine and its time for the next chapter

But things seem stuck here and cant move ever after!

Every second i close ma eyes i see her laughter

And ma heart skips a beat!

Where do we go from here?

No idea, things still aint clear!

Fate seems hell bent on playin me

What's perfect's so far can't you see?

Man this here's one huge crush,

And things are movin too fast in a rush!

I pause, take a deep breath, close ma eyes,

I see her again, I just eanted to see something nice!

How come theres something You soo want to say

You sooooo want it to be understood!

But your mind screams something rude!

And even your heart says shut up dude!

Sometimes I almost blurt out things,

Have spoken into pillows ASHWIN...shut up!!! no jinx!

Its nights i have to fight myself the hardest,

Cause, Cute as an angel... I know shes the best!

I keep tickin off more and more check boxes ,

I keep tellin myself she'll fail the next,

But shes perfect i see myself fallin,

And without her i can feel that times are crawlin!

Have never written so much so soon,

Am gettin crazy as a frikkin ol' loon,

I can even feel ma heart swell like a balloon,

but i sure know its gonna pop ever so soon!

Crazy is something I am

About what i cant say,

Try my best to stay calm,

But i feel so lost this way!

Is it real? Will it last?

Is it all happenin too fast?

I dunno! Only time will tell!

I've gotta be sane... but then again wat the hell? ;-)

My Winter Hols!

I spent my winter hols with someone special,

someone who came to know me outta ma shell!

I feel shes worth mentionin here,

though my feeling for now aint clear!

Xams during Xmas are the toughest!

She's almost got me through this,

Shes sat up day n night with me thro da fest

Shes even put me to sleep with a kiss!

She's Adorable and Awesome and Amazing!

Even then theres a problem, Well... here's the thing!

If I tell her shes perfect today,

Tomorrow I'll have to find a better word to say!

To look so cute should be a crime...

I ask her how she does it all the time?

She says she "dunno y or how"

All I can think is oh hell! wow!!!

Well I just say the truth, getting bolder n bolder..

May be its because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?

Rite now shes "chillin!" yet there looking at me,

Mann! She's the only thing that my eyes can see!

Sometime we don't speak as in speak,

We are silent/studying just take a peek!

Everytime she does, I see her!

And then shes gone in a blur!

Ok OK What's the point am getting at?

I have no idea and that's that!

I dunno how a GIRL can be so Sweet!

Especially a girl I dunno If I'll ever meet :'(

Juzthanxx!!

I met you sometime dunno when or how,

now that i think, guess you r from heaven above

I hate the term "Angel", so I won't use it,

Mann, I have to write quick before I lose it!

You were there all the time,

Guess its tanx with this rhyme :)

U actually made me look forward to books?

Still you r cool, We r just a "Couple a Crooks"

You've been sweet as no one has,

You've been up for just my cause,

Words... I'm at a loss...

So Hold! Juzpawzz!!!

In your eyes I've gotten lost,

But its the smile I adore the most...

When U sleep, a face so calm n clear,

All I can think is "WISH YOU WERE HERE!"

Minutes to Midnight!

Another years gone, where i dunno
what have i gotta show apart from that ho?
the leech dont stop suckin ma frickkin blood
hope shel be happy when am dead...

Ive got time, Ive got Friends
...and Ive got funds to make meet the ends
Ive got skills, Ive got brain
... but still everyday I carry this pain

Tried to stay straidedge all life too hard
but fuck, life dealt me with this one card
I got tricked, Man am a retard...
I hope I find a tune to play this on ma guitar

Reminiscing bout ma past!

All through ma life I wanted to grow up
just so I can meet adulthood and say "wassup?"
but now that i finally am twenty one,
I feel that my childhood was way more fun!

Waking up Monday, Eating heavy to overcome the blues,
not dieting and having a little juice
Getting on the, bus singing all the way,
not stuck in traffic without knowing what to say!

Waking up Tuesday, feeling a little better,
not thinking of my chick or what to get her
Wearing the uniform my mom washed and pressed,
not worrying about how good I dressed!

Waking up Wednesday, feeling my dad's care,
Not thinking its day 3 I'm halfway there
Looking into my mom's eyes as she kisses me goodbye,
not through my window at the landscape so dry!

Waking up Thursday, with so much energy in me pent,
not worrying about how the hell I'm gonna pay my rent
missing the bus and riding with mom to school
not caring about who thinks I am cool!

Waking up Friday, forget it again so scream for ma towel,
not running out half naked just to answer my doorbell
having the lunch my mom packed with love and care,
not munching on chips I bought with change I had to spare!

Waking up Saturday. late after my dad calls me a slob,
not worrying about recession or losing my job
Watching the tube for hours together with dad,
not stuck in an empty house which drives me mad!

Waking up Sunday, switching on the TV,
not worrying about how to update my CV
Going outside and playing in the sun,
not just waiting to get paid on day one!

But really... Being an adult ain't bad, I can vote,
I don't even have to bug dad to buy a new coat
I can smoke, I can drink,
I can do anything that I think!

But sometimes when I remember the past,
I feel I just grew up too fast
Reminiscing about the great times that we had...
I dedicate this one to ma DAD!!!